Saying no when you wish to, when you have to, is important. If you cannot say no, you are not in charge of your life. You are a slave, having to do others will. You can be sure that if you take this role, you will be abused. By giving up the power to say no, you are giving away your life to the whims of others.
For some people, this is what they seek or expect from human pup play. Their vision of your obedience as a pup is total servitude, never saying no. You may be a submissive pup who finds such an offer alluring, a fulfilment of your fantasies. If you are such a pup, then you must think soberly and carefully before agreeing to be a slave pup, as your freedom of choice will be seriously curtailed. Be sensible, be rational, and discuss the idea with friends and people you trust and ask for their advice.
How To “Just Say No”
For all pups, there are skills you can develop to help you say no appropriately in human pup play and not cause any trouble for a master to pup relationship. Keep in mind pup that there is often nothing wrong with saying yes to things – the problem we cover here is saying yes when you would rather say no, and feel you can’t refuse a request or don’t know how to.
The skills you develop all come from within you naturally, and you accentuate them to help you say no when you have to. Often in sexual play a pup can get carried away with passion and maybe not look themselves a best they should. Follow these practices and you will develop better management of yourself at all times no matter the circumstances. You will develop good habitual responses:
- wait to be asked pup. Rather than offer your service constantly, you can wait quietly to be asked to help. It is not your role in life to make everyones life easier. Just because someone mentions an issue or problem doesn’t mean you should rush to solve it or help. Instead, you can choose when you want to be involved, and you can wait to be asked directly otherwise. You can practice this by looking at your day, and see what you are doing for others that is not giving you a wage or some payback in return for you. Of course it’s nice to do things for loved ones and friends, but examine your day and see that you are getting return care and favour as well.
- think about what you are saying and agreeing to before answering a question. If you don’t immediately feel a yes is your answer to a request, then don’t answer straight away. Take a moment to think on it. You can be polite and say you are just taking a moment to think. If you need an hour, a day, a week to think about what you want to answer, then simply ask for the time. You can state it is always better to answer honestly with thought than to just agree and not be sincere. You can practice this by taking time to consider something each day. Get into the habit of taking a second or two to pause and think before deciding.
- don’t check if it is ok to say no. You don’t need someones permission to say no, nor do you have to ask “if they mind” your refusal. You are responsible for your life, and you are expected as an adult to be able to say no. You make your decisions.
- choose your words carefully. Think not just about saying no, but how to say it. You want to say no in a clear concise tone, so that it cannot be misunderstood. Yet you don’t want to sound hostile. So keep your response simple, direct, clear, and as friendly as you can. It’s easy to practice saying “no, I can’t do that Sir” or “No, I don’t like to do that Sir” in front of the mirror alone and develop a friendly way of saying it.
- don’t allow someone to try and bully you by persisting in asking. If you say no, it’s a no. Hold to your position of saying no by being clear and direct and repeating “no, I am not going to do that”. Your only explanation need be “I don’t want to”. You can assume that a bullying person won’t accept your refusal. Don’t let that matter to you. Yes, your saying no may offend someone or hurt their feelings – that is their choice – because you are always entitled to say no.
- don’t apologise of give excuses for saying no. It leaves you open to being brow beaten and harassed with counter arguments meant to force you to say yes instead. You can be polite and say “I am not saying no to hurt your feelings, I am saying no because I want to say no”.
- be clear pup, and stand tall, even when on all fours. When saying no, speak in a calm voice, loud enough to be heard. If you shout in anger, or speak meekly in fear, the bully will push harder at you. You can practice in the mirror and see how you present yourself pup. Look at who you are saying no to, look them in the eye calmly. Keep your head up and your shoulders back. Relax your arms and gesture normally, showing that your saying no is an ordinary decision by a confident you. Whilst you may not feel so confident to begin with, practice will make it easier. Your effort to present a confident front is one of the clearest ways of saying no.
Refusing to do something is your right pup, and you should exercise it when presented with anything you don’t want or you disagree with. In case it’s not obvious to you, most people don’t like to be told no. However, you can judge the sincerity of a loved one by their empathising with you and their acceptance of you asserting yourself pup. Someone who doesn’t like you looking after yourself shouldn’t be in your life.
Sure, there will be times you will be an unreasonable pup, no one is perfect. You will say no obtusely and unnecessarily sometimes. A master who cares about you, a pup who respects you will patiently try and explain their point of view, and can wait for you to be rational and calm. You can live with saying no to something accidentally and learn from it, more than you can live happily with never saying no out of fear.